but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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