Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize