And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
