i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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