I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
