The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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