Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
