the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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