is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
