Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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