its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
