BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
