Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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