You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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