Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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