I'm jealous of your bromance
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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