Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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