I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His nipple licking is glorious
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize