he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
