I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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