no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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