Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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