i barfeds in our rink
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
