halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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