Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize