I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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