turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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