He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
