party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
