I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i came on her dog
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
