Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
