sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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