Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my sisters under your porch take her home
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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