Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
