i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
