Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize