Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
