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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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