so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
