Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
