Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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