i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
