Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
