just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize