this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
