You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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