i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
