She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
