this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
