; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
