Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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