Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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