if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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