I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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