I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
