Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me I should be a condom model.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I know her cup size but not her name....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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