Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I did not marry a roomba.
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