The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
