her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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