Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
